


(Crazy For You But) Not That Crazy

by GingerTodgers



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Draco Malfoy & Ron Weasley Friendship, Established Relationship, Fluff, Inspired by Music, M/M, Sick Character, Sickfic, Sneaky Draco
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2016-08-15
Packaged: 2018-08-08 22:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7776112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerTodgers/pseuds/GingerTodgers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Why is Draco avoiding the Weasleys?</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Crazy For You But) Not That Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> "I built a ship with my own hands  
> to take us to the moon  
> I took a pen in my own hand  
> and wrote you a hundred tunes"
> 
> Inspired by Magnetic Fields - (Crazy For You But) Not That Crazy

Draco Malfoy was making tea when he heard the Ford Anglia II. A series of small explosions rocked 12 Grimmauld Place, followed by a cheer as the car's occupants celebrated a successful landing. There were shouts, laughs, another small explosion and then the bell rang.

"Oh, I wonder who that could be" Harry said, widening his eyes and gazing avidly towards the front door.

"Best not answer" said Draco, viciously dunking a teabag. "It's probably someone from your deranged fan club."

Harry's innocent look morphed into one of ardent constipation. "But what if it's someone who needs help? Maybe you should answer it."

"Why me?" Draco's teabag was starting to disintegrate. He dunked with renewed vigor. "You're closer."

"Fine" Harry sighed, moving towards the kitchen door. "Stay there and leave that teabag alone."

"Fine" Draco called after him, one leg already hooked through the open kitchen window. It took him less then 15 seconds to leg it across the garden, over the fence and through the anti-Apparition wards. Harry's owl found him two hours later; enjoying an early-afternoon cocktail in the Malfoy Manor conservatory.

***

"But you like Ron" whined the Chudley Cannons duvet cover as it huddled on the sofa.

""Like" is a strong word" said Draco, placing a steaming bowl of soup on the coffee table. ""More like "enthusiastically tolerate"". A mournful sniff emerged from the duvet. Draco blew on the soup and then began searching for his boyfriend's face.

"Well why can't you "enthusiastically tolerate" Ginny and George?" asked Harry, emerging bright red and runny nosed from the duvet.

"I can" soothed Draco, reaching for the soup. "I do. Individually. One-by-one. I like my Weasleys in small doses, not en masse." He smoothed the hair off Harry's damp forehead and held out a spoon of soup. Harry eyed it with distaste.

"You can't keep refusing Molly's invitations to Sunday dinner" he insisted. "She will track you down."

"She'll have to catch me first" said Draco, holding out the spoon. "You need to eat."

"I'll eat if you come to the next dinner" Harry sniffed.

"Fine" Draco soothed, "I'll come to the next dinner."

***

Draco did not come to the next dinner. Nor the one after that. Nor the one after that. He continued ducking out of windows and into broom cupboards and generally doing whatever he needed to avoid, in his own words, "a surfeit of Weasels".

"It's embarrassing" Harry complained, finishing his pint and glaring at Draco's back. "I keep telling them he's coming and then turning up on my own with crap excuses about how my boyfriend disguised himself as a Malfoy Manor house elf to avoid them all."

Hermione expelled half a glass of wine out of her left nostril and wheezed; "Did he really pretend to be a house elf?"

"No, but the fact you thought he might shows how ridiculous this is!"

"It is ridiculous" Hermione soothed, spelling red wine out of her hair and inadvertently doubling it's volume. "But maybe understandable, considering his dad still hasn't apologized for trying to kill Ginny. And Molly killed his aunt. And he's kind of responsible for Bill getting chewed on by a werewolf. And..."

"Yes, yes," Harry interrupted, waving aside a decade of murder, mauling and malice. "But they're all over it now, even Molly's forgiven him. I'm pretty sure Percy prefers him to me. He's Victoire's fucking godfather! What more does he need?"

"Point taken. Ok. So maybe you need to approach this like a Slytherin, give him something he wants." Noticing Harry's eyes widen and go a bit glazed she hurried on; "Nothing sexual."

"Why not?"

"Because you want it to be something he wants on a regular basis."

"Yeah, I don't think that's going to be a problem here."

"Really?" Hermione asked, eyebrows merging with her hairline. "So you're telling me that whatever is putting that dopey grin on your face is something that you can do every single Sunday, before every birthday, Christmas and wedding, and it's not going to lose any potency?"

Harry cast a thoughtful glance across the room. Draco was laughing at something Ron had said, holding onto the bar with one hand and clapping Ron on the back with the other. "Maybe not every week," he conceded, paused a moment, frowned. "He does want a house elf for Grimmauld Place."

"You think that would be enough to make him brave the Burrow?" Hermione asked, fingering her SPEW badge.

"Well yes but of course it's out of the question" Harry reassured her, trotting out his wide-eyed look of innocence once again. It had about the same impact on Hermione as it had on Draco.

"Let me rephrase the question" Hermione said. "Would having a paid, unionized, house elf at Grimmauld Place mean that I will have someone other than Percy to talk at the next Weasley family dinner?"

"Maybe."

"Well then, I think you know what you have to do."

"Really? House elves, Hermione? What about SPEW? What about house elf rights? What about..." Harry was interrupted by Hermione grabbing the collar of his tshirt and dragging him across the small, beer-slick table.

"Do you know" she asked, voice low "what it's like at a Weasley family dinner when you aren't responsible for saving the lives of everyone there. Twice. Do you, Harry? Do you know what it's like when you don't play Quidditch and don't have lots of babies and Arthur keeps asking why some Muggle handcuffs are furry and others aren't?" Harry shook his head. Hermione shook him. "I want Draco there. I need him to talk about the Parisian fashion week with Fleur and swap tips for Crup breeding with Audrey and I need him to come outside and smoke with me when they all start yelling at once. Do this for me Harry."

"Do what?" Ron thumped down into the seat beside Hermione and handed her a new glass of wine.

"We're getting a house elf!" Harry said, extracting himself from Hermione's vice-like grip and sending a dazed smile at Draco. Draco smiled back at him.

***

Ron waited until Draco had attended four Sunday lunches in a row before asking; "Did you really have to get Hermione involved?"

"I don't know what you mean" Draco smirked. "If she wants Harry and I to employ a house elf then who am I to question the brightest witch among us?"

"Who indeed" Ron replied, sending a glance back towards the Burrow. Hermione and Harry were visible through the window, nodding intently as Percy pontificated on some internal cock-up at the Ministry. Hermione's eyes were glazed and Harry appeared to be lightly punching his own leg under the table. "Listen Draco" Ron turned away from the window and smiled with all his teeth, "Hermione is my best friend and the love of my life, but she's also a problem solver. She likes things to be sorted, categorized, labelled, tidied away. It can" he continued, edging into Draco's personal space so that the other man was forced to step back against the side of the house, "lead to her compromising her own principles in an effort to make spending time with her boyfriend's family more tolerable, or easing tension in her best friend's relationship. Even if it leaves her missing sleep and feeling terribly guilty about the whole thing. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

Draco swallowed.

"I know you didn't mind spending time at the Burrow" Ron said, clapping a hand onto Draco's shoulder "I know how much you wanted a house elf and I don't blame you for trying to subdue two Horntails with one Stunner. But Harry signed up for your Slytherin scheming and she didn't, so leave her out of it, ok?"

***

"We should do something nice for Hermione" Draco mumbled through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"Like what?" Harry asked, yawning as he climbed into bed.

"I'm not sure" Draco appeared at the bedroom door, Noxing the lights. "She worries too much, Ron said something about her not sleeping well. Maybe a Spa day?"

"Hmmm" Harry murmured, wrapping his arms around Draco. "We'll think of something nice."

"I just think that we should make sure she knows how much we appreciate her" Draco insisted, settling into Harry's arms and nuzzling the space between his throat and shoulder.

"We will..." Harry's voice was soft and sleep drunk, his hand stroked Draco's hair. "Ron can be a bit scary, can't he."

There was a silence and then Harry felt Draco's head nod against his shoulder. "I'm not scared of him, though" Draco insisted.

"Mmm, of course not" Harry soothed. Tightening the hug and kissing Draco's nose. "Just like I'm not scared of Hermione."


End file.
